A Special Person called Sue

Well that's the first full day and two nights of the rest of my life successfully completed. I can't pretend that this is easy for me but I'm going to try to make the most of whatever time I have left. I will keep writing this blog for as long as I can which I'm hoping will be a long time. One of the most difficult bits is not knowing how long I've got, but then again none of you know either so we're kind of equals in many ways. 

I have to face up to my new circumstances and be realistic about my prospects. I could have many years left or I could have a few months, but lets not play at God and try to predict how long it is. It's less than I would have liked but enough for me to make the most of the rest of my life however long or short it may be. I will have to find something positive to take out of this. There are a few things I want to do, some of which may not be possible but which I'm still holding out for.

The team at the Western General Hospital discussed my case at their meeting yesterday and nothing has changed. From what I can make out the team sits in a small theatre and have the scans for all the current patients projected on to a giant screen, with the consultant radiologist there to explain and answer questions. They all then decide jointly what it all means and what course of treatment/surgery to follow. And with all these brains involved and it being one of the best hospitals for cancer in the country I think I can feel confident in getting the best.

Mr Speake will see myself and Coinneach in his office next Wednesday to talk it over again. He asked to meet me with one of my brothers so I'm going with the older one of the two, respect for my elders of course. But I don't think Neil will be disappointed at missing out. 

 I have an appointment with Dr McLean my oncologist a week on Thursday. She will talk things over and present me with my options. Could be they leave it and keep an eye on developments and maybe offer treatment later on. Who knows? Well I guess someone does.

In case you're all wondering, I did manage to hold myself together during my meeting with Mr Speake on Wednesday, or at least I did until the very end. I must say he handled it beautifully. I couldn't have done it better myself, and he wasn't holding back. He was very open, but so caring. I feel he treats me like  special patient, his friend. The only thing he didn't answer was my question as to what it all means in terms of time, but I realise he couldn't anyway, and I wish I hadn't asked. 

I have to give a special mention to Sue McKeen my cancer specialist nurse. She came into the consultation with Mr Speake about half way through. I guess they must have agreed that beforehand. I was so pleased to see her. She has been such a huge support to me over the past eighteen months, she has helped me through it all. I spent half an hour with her afterwards talking things over. I thanked her for all she has done for me and told her she was family to me. She told me I was a special patient to them all and that the whole team were very upset at the news.

She then walked me over to the car park and stood waving as I left. Where else can you get treatment like that. Thank you Sue, you are a very special person.