The post before Maggie's Centre post

Having cancer changes everything. No matter how hard I try it's impossible to forget about it. It's always there at the back of my mind. It just won't go away. I try but it keeps coming back to the surface of my consciousness. I've had to learn to live with it, much as I would rather not have to bother. I guess this is my life at least for the time being. But I have faith in Mr Speake and trust him to make it go away when he operates next week, and then Peru in 2014.

Many good things have happened to me since my cancer was diagnosed and I can't really imagine my life now without the experience it's put me through. Maybe I wouldn't quite go so far as to say I would not have been happy without the experience but it gets close to it. Mind you don't ask me if I still feel the same next year if Mr Speake gives me tough news. He used to tell me that his plan was to cure me and that he was hopeful of doing that, but last time I saw him and asked him if he still thought the same all he would say was that he would give me a prognosis once he had the pathology report from my tumour. Maybe I read too much into "the way he tells them" so to speak.

You have to learn a whole new language when you have cancer and sometimes professionals don't seem to remember that. I don't think cancer is like any other illness in its complexities and possibilities of cure or no cure. I get books and pamphlets to read but it's never enough information or  else not the right information, in that it doesn't tell you all will be well in the end, and as for the internet thingee, well don't get me started, it's best to keep away from all that.

My lap top has given up the ghost on me, so less temptation to go searching for cures, and now have to use my iPad for writing my blog. Which is not exactly  easy; think I should get one of those special keyboards or even a new laptop or maybe I should treat myself to the MacBook Air I keep promising myself.

Discovering Maggie's Centre is one of the best things that has happened to me since I developed cancer. Thanks to my cancer specialist nurse, Sue Mckeen, for telling me about it and persuading me to go. This post was meant to be about Maggie's but I seem to have got lost somewhere. Lack of concentration you see. So next post will be about Maggie's as it deserves a place of its own.

Meantime I need a coffee booster. I got a row from nurse this morning for the level of sugar in my blood, so that's something else to get on with. I wonder if I've been to Pizza Express once to often ?