First date etiquette

Mr Speake came to see me this afternoon with three of his students and I agreed to an examination by one of them. It helps pass the time and I thought it might be good fun. Plus it helps these poor students learn to be as good as their master. Don't suppose he would like being called that so let's just say mentor. 

My iPhone wants to take over this blog and seems to think it can read my thoughts. It's not only predicting words but also seems to predict whole phrases. Quite Orwellian, maybe it has taken over. Apple seems that way inclined, so if I start writing crap blame the iPhone. 

Anyway to get back to my story I had these three medical students doing some kind of assessment part if their training and using my fine body as their plaything. Two females and one male and one of the girls had to carry out the examination as the other two looked on and Mr Speake stood at the end of the bed watching over things, giving encouragement and asking questions and reminding her of stuff she should bear in mind and should be doing. Very gentle he was too. 

 But even so I've rarely felt so anxious for someone. She seemed so small and innocent looking and not at all ready for this kind of ordeal. The other two looked on, thinking thank God it's not me, but knowing that soon it will be. They have to go through it I suppose otherwise there will be no surgeons around to remove the next generation of tumours. So if you are young just think one of these students today could be sorting you out in years to come and I will have played a small part in your treatment. 

My student girl seemed to be doing quite well with her examination and getting to the end when Mr Speake says "you've done four of the five parts we spoke about and we've now got one left to do, so what do you think that would be?" She looked as if she had no idea. She tried a couple of obvious guesses, looked at him and then at me and then said she needed to do a rectal examination! 

I almost fell off the bed. I'm thinking to myself no way are you sticking your finger up my bum, it's our first date my love and it just would not be right. Meanwhile Mr Speake must have seen the look of panic on my face and smiled down at me and I thought it's ok for you mate but she's not threatening to assault your bottom. He told her yes that would be correct for most examinations but in our case today we agreed we were looking for something else. Huge sighs of relief all round. 

The examination proceeded to a smooth closure with handshakes all  round.