I will be a winkle gatherer

I saw Dr McLean today. My scan results show that my tumours continue to grow. The biggest is now 17mm diameter, (three quarter inches?) and the rest of them are showing similar growth rates. They have doubled more or less in the past year. The only good news is that there are no new locations and my bowel is cancer free, which just goes to show what a good job Mr Speake did in removing it, given it's size and difficult location. I try not to think how depressing it is that the cancer decided to take a trip up to my lungs instead. That way madness lies, or something. But what a bastard.

Now I have to look to the next stage of my treatment and we've decided to start chemotherapy again, probably in early December. I decided not to delay treatment as she wants to give me six cycles over eighteen weeks, which takes me into spring and I feel it would be best for me to look forward to a treatment free spring and summer rather than worry about Xmas and New Year celebrations and such like nonsense. I will cope with the chemo over the festive period and can then look forward to springtime in Paris or Peru.

Dr McLean asked me about my travels. I thought I saw her raise an eyebrow when I told her Peru was still in my sights but she did not say it was not possible. Just a bit more difficult than before is what I took from her non committalness. Can one say that? Probably not, maybe it's noncommittally.

That's where we're at now so onwards and upwards to a new dawn. Here is my little poem, inspired by my visit home recently.

I will be a winkle gatherer

The river flows still

singing through the valley

from the dark moor and the hills

coursing gently to the sea.

Fountains of clear bright water

all along its steep banks

where we played and fought

and quenched our mighty thirsts.

I will be a winkle gatherer 

and fill the big sacks with him.

I will gather grit from the shore

for mother’s hens to feed on.

And the rain mizzles down

as I wander home now, happy

to see my river

glistening in the setting sun.

By Donald Maciver 

25/09/2015