Getting There

This week I have mostly been in hospital having been admitted last Sunday with a bad case of dehydration, so bad I thought the end had come. I spent four days on an intravenous drip to build me up again for the fun of more chemotherapy, which caused the problem in the first place. All I can think is that if its doing this to my healthy cells then it must be blasting the cancer cells to kingdom come, or further. Let's hope so anyway.

That was my fifth chemo cycle, which has now been abandoned half way through and the new plan is to commence cycle six on the due date of 2nd June, but without the intravenous infusion of chemo drugs, just two weeks of tablets and that will be me finished with chemotherapy. Let's hope so anyway. Oh the joy. Can you imagine it? No more chemotherapy after the 16th of June. What a feeling of relief that gives me. At last an end date after many delays and extensions, but as they say better late than never.

I'm going to cook today for the first time in about four weeks. Grilled lamb chops, new potatoes and English asparagus, seeing as you asked. Who knows I might even fry an egg, organic naturally.

I'm very much living from day to day as I never know how I'm going to be on any morning. A lot of time has been spent resting and recuperating as the least bit of activity is exhausting and requires an immediate rest period. It can be hard coping but I think I'm through the worst of it now, and the fact I see the end date gives me a huge boost.

Talking about boosts, I was given a magnificent boost on Thursday when Garry and Ben came to visit me in the hospital and spent the last two hours there with me as we waited for Coinneach to drive down from Cupar to pick me up and take me home. Ben is my wee brother's grandson and Garry is his dad and I feel a public thank you to them both is called for. So thank you both very very much. You made a patient very happy indeed. We were able to visit Maggie's Centre and meet my support team there, and show them round the centre, and Ben got to chat to the staff and learn about the work they do.

A couple of weeks ago I received two thank you letters on the same day, thanking me for books I had gifted. One was from my friend Pat to thank me for giving him  the novel Stoner by John Williams, which he had never heard of and of which my recommendation didn't at first impress him. That sentence sounds clumsy but let it stay. On reading the novel however he was hugely impressed- superb story, superbly written, he reports. I'm not surprised as it is a great book, a classic even.

My other thank you came from Ben who was delighted with the comic book version of Treasure Island by RLS I sent him. Produced by the Marvel comic folk. He says in his card that it was his first comic book novel and might not be his last, it was scary, funny and exciting, it was a great read he says and thanks a million. One of the best cards I've had. Not to say that I don't appreciate all the other cards and emails I get. Ben is nine going on ten, I think.

It's not often one gets two such thank you letters and certainly not on the same day. So ta Pat and Ben. And I'm pleased to note that my literary judgements remain sound for young and older.

This is my first posting for a few weeks and I mustn't finish without giving a mention to Stephen Sutton who passed away two weeks ago and who was also a bowel cancer patient, except that he was only 19 years of age when he died. I don't need to repeat his story here as I'm sure you all know how he raised millions for the Teenage Cancer Trust. I feel I'd somehow got to know Stephen and his death had a big effect on me. I cried when I heard the news. I kept hoping that something would turn up for him, but it wasn't to be. His story is on the Teenage Cancer Trust website if anyone wants to know more. Thank you to Stephen for a short life well lived. Your were an inspiration to me and many others too. I have to admit that fleetingly I hoped when you died that you would live on in a special place somewhere and we would meet sometime. I don't believe in heaven  or hell or any such but that was a strange experience. Or maybe I dreamt it.

Let's end this post with a quote from this exceptional young man:

" I don't see the point in measuring  life in terms of time anymore. I'd rather measure life in terms of making a difference."