A Little Walk

Today I managed to walk round Blackford Pond again and I have to say after the way I felt over the past few weeks and my stay in hospital, it was a beautiful experience, in fact beyond beautiful. I know some folk may object to my use of the word beyond in this sense, and that it's now the new literally, but I reckon if it's good enough for Bob Geldof to describe himself as beyond grief on the death of his daughter then it's OK for Blackford Pond. Mind you to call it a pond does not do it justice, but it's not a loch or a lake either so don't know what word would better fit our Pond. Any suggestions will be welcome.

The birds all came to welcome me. The swans with their signets, the coots with their babies, some very friendly greylag geese, a few jackdaws, crows, seagulls and the rest. No sign of the heron though.

It's the kind of place where it's good to talk to strangers and today I got chatting to a couple out for their constitutional stroll. It turns out that Mrs Couple has a best friend who comes from Lochs on the Isle of Lewis, a place I know well, and this friend, not sure if it was a man or a woman, but no matter, was a teacher in the Nicolson Institute in Stornoway, also a place I know only too well, having spent six long years in that world famous institution. It's a small world, don't you think.

Earlier in the day my friend Mike came round and he treated me to a light lunch, and promises to treat me to a mystery trip in next few weeks. Also brought me up to date on his trip to Palestine, and gave me a first hand account of the wall and the way the police treat the locals. Badly of course. Mike also put me in the picture re the new party, Podemos, that did so well in the elections in Spain recently.

Am now waiting for my pal to join me so that we can watch the England v Peru game together. No need to guess who I shall be supporting. Vamos Peru.

All for now. Will post some pics later.

Getting There

This week I have mostly been in hospital having been admitted last Sunday with a bad case of dehydration, so bad I thought the end had come. I spent four days on an intravenous drip to build me up again for the fun of more chemotherapy, which caused the problem in the first place. All I can think is that if its doing this to my healthy cells then it must be blasting the cancer cells to kingdom come, or further. Let's hope so anyway.

That was my fifth chemo cycle, which has now been abandoned half way through and the new plan is to commence cycle six on the due date of 2nd June, but without the intravenous infusion of chemo drugs, just two weeks of tablets and that will be me finished with chemotherapy. Let's hope so anyway. Oh the joy. Can you imagine it? No more chemotherapy after the 16th of June. What a feeling of relief that gives me. At last an end date after many delays and extensions, but as they say better late than never.

I'm going to cook today for the first time in about four weeks. Grilled lamb chops, new potatoes and English asparagus, seeing as you asked. Who knows I might even fry an egg, organic naturally.

I'm very much living from day to day as I never know how I'm going to be on any morning. A lot of time has been spent resting and recuperating as the least bit of activity is exhausting and requires an immediate rest period. It can be hard coping but I think I'm through the worst of it now, and the fact I see the end date gives me a huge boost.

Talking about boosts, I was given a magnificent boost on Thursday when Garry and Ben came to visit me in the hospital and spent the last two hours there with me as we waited for Coinneach to drive down from Cupar to pick me up and take me home. Ben is my wee brother's grandson and Garry is his dad and I feel a public thank you to them both is called for. So thank you both very very much. You made a patient very happy indeed. We were able to visit Maggie's Centre and meet my support team there, and show them round the centre, and Ben got to chat to the staff and learn about the work they do.

A couple of weeks ago I received two thank you letters on the same day, thanking me for books I had gifted. One was from my friend Pat to thank me for giving him  the novel Stoner by John Williams, which he had never heard of and of which my recommendation didn't at first impress him. That sentence sounds clumsy but let it stay. On reading the novel however he was hugely impressed- superb story, superbly written, he reports. I'm not surprised as it is a great book, a classic even.

My other thank you came from Ben who was delighted with the comic book version of Treasure Island by RLS I sent him. Produced by the Marvel comic folk. He says in his card that it was his first comic book novel and might not be his last, it was scary, funny and exciting, it was a great read he says and thanks a million. One of the best cards I've had. Not to say that I don't appreciate all the other cards and emails I get. Ben is nine going on ten, I think.

It's not often one gets two such thank you letters and certainly not on the same day. So ta Pat and Ben. And I'm pleased to note that my literary judgements remain sound for young and older.

This is my first posting for a few weeks and I mustn't finish without giving a mention to Stephen Sutton who passed away two weeks ago and who was also a bowel cancer patient, except that he was only 19 years of age when he died. I don't need to repeat his story here as I'm sure you all know how he raised millions for the Teenage Cancer Trust. I feel I'd somehow got to know Stephen and his death had a big effect on me. I cried when I heard the news. I kept hoping that something would turn up for him, but it wasn't to be. His story is on the Teenage Cancer Trust website if anyone wants to know more. Thank you to Stephen for a short life well lived. Your were an inspiration to me and many others too. I have to admit that fleetingly I hoped when you died that you would live on in a special place somewhere and we would meet sometime. I don't believe in heaven  or hell or any such but that was a strange experience. Or maybe I dreamt it.

Let's end this post with a quote from this exceptional young man:

" I don't see the point in measuring  life in terms of time anymore. I'd rather measure life in terms of making a difference."

A nice bottom and coots in their new nest

More swans and family

Blackford Pond signets

Coots and their chicks

Hope you all like the pics from Blackford Pond from a couple weeks ago. The heron is huge and took off just after allowing me to take these photos. I was too slow to catch it fly off but it's very impressive. 

The coot stole this nest of another bird and I'm told has now moved with her brood to occupy another nest not belonging to her. Didn't know they had their very own Occupy Movement. 

I hope to make it this afternoon to photo the swans with their signets. At least I hope I have the strength to make it to the Pond. 

Been in bed mostly since last chemo on Monday but am told that I have to go out every day. So here goes. Bye.

The coot and her chicks

The Blackford Pond Heron

Ward One Again

I'm back in Ward One for my fifth chemo cycle and I've been here for four hours already. As my infusion has just started I expect to be here for another four hours and a bit, big bit probably. So might as well pass the time writing my blog. 

This is the first time that my chemo has started on the due date which was completely unexpected as I've been so ill since my last infusion three weeks ago. Most of my time has been spent resting in bed or later in the day in front of the tele. I've become quite fond of Dickinson and his Real Deal show. In fact I must be an expert now so reckon one of my first stops will be an auction once my treatment is over. I've also become a fan of Masterchef and am looking forward to finals this week. 

I've not been able to write my blog as I've been so tired all the time. There's a mental tiredness as well as the physical one. So concentration goes out the window as well. Sometimes I turn round in the kitchen and by the time I've turned I've forgotten what it was I turned for in the first place.  

So that's why there have been no postings of late. 

I'm no longer able to cook as I can't stand long enough. A shave or a shower is followed by an hours rest. I can only manage about five minutes activity at a

any one time and then a rest. My three flights of stairs are a daily struggle. But I need to go out every day otherwise I will be screaming my little head off. I had to call my doctor out to my flat last week and she advised me to go out every day as it's good for me and the stairs will do me good. Ho ho indeed. 

I hope you all liked my photos from Blackford Pond. The coots have had five little ones and I've got photos of the chicks which I will post tonight. You will be pleased to hear that the swans have produced their little lot too and there are five or six little signets now. My pal John L has been to see them and I hope to manage a visit this week to take some photos and check on their well being. 

 Very sad news about Gabriel García Márquez since my last post. He's easily one of my favourite authors. I reread Love in the Time of Cholera last time I was in Peru and I'm convinced being in South America and knowing so much more about the place made the reading a greater experience for me. Not that the lack of knowing South America at first hand should put you off reading him if you've not already done so. I've started rereading One Hundred Years of Solitude in the hospital today. Always worth a few hours of your time. 

I did make a start on Rembrance of Things Past (or In Search of Lost Times depending on your preference) but Proust does not make things straight forward with his enormous long roving sentences so I've decided to give the good man a rest until my brain is back in order. I've given myself six years to read him which is a volume a year. No point in not being optimistic for the future or what am I putting myself through this torture for if it's not to read Proust and of course go back to Peru and maybe even visit Macondo. 

That's all for now. I can feel the chemo filling up in my arm and getting on with 

It's curing work. I just wish it wasn't so painful. I will post photos tonight. 

Back to Márquez now.