Moving on

Is it really three weeks since my last posting? I guess it must be. Don't know why this has happened except that I've still got workmen in my flat. I've had a combi boiler installed, my old water tank and bath removed and am having a shower fitted, which I reckon will be better for me in future. And my bathroom was needing done up anyway. Getting there now and shower should be in place by next Monday. Takes time as I had two days worth of plastering done last week and need to wait a few days for it to dry out sufficiently for wet wall to go up. What a mess it all makes. 

I've also developed an infection which has required daily visits to my doctor's surgery for treatment over past two weeks. And large doses of antibiotics. The infection is not yet fully healed and could mean the postponement of my operation which is due next week on 7th November. Tomorrow I go for my pre admission assessment. Let's hope they are not going to be too stringent about things and give me a few more days to become infection free. Fingers and all available parts crossed. 

Having this infection has meant that I've been more concerned about the op being postponed than I have been about the op itself. But now it's all becoming totally confusing. What should I worry about? The op itself or the possibility of a delay? Does it matter? Probably not. I'll soon know whether or not it's all systems go. 

It's now six months since I was diagnosed with cancer, and sometimes I feel I'm a wholly different person! My life has changed completely,  I'm not the same person as I was a few months ago, or maybe the same but "transformed utterly" as your man said though in a somewhat different context. I've learnt to cope with being a person with cancer. It's been a hard journey but getting there slowly. I sure wish that I never would have had to do it but here I am, resisting being a patient and definitely not suffering. Always resisting and revolting.  I like that, resistance and revolution. 

It's getting late, must to bed be off. Big day tomorrow. I leave you with some Yeats:

"  But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

   And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

   And bending down beside the glowing bars,

   Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled

   And paced upon the mountains overhead 

   And hid his face amid a crowd of stars." 

   

The whole poem is suberb, but don't have time to quote it in full, so go read it for yourself , it's called :

When you are old ..... 

Sad news this week about Lou Reed. Seen him couple of times. Wonder who went with me to see him in Edinburgh Playhouse, some years back? Was that you?