An Important Announcement

I'm listening to the Dylan album Tell Tale Signs, Rare and Unreleased 1989 - 2006, beautiful and inspiring songs, just what I need right now. One can always rely on old Bob to be there in times of tribulation, whatever is going wrong or right. Who else but His Bobness could leave brilliant songs such as these unreleased? Thankfully he saw the error of his ways and put them out there. Cynics among you will say it's only Columbia maximising their profits, but "I don't believe you", as Bob himself  may have said. Maybe he did say that, for all I know. "Only one thing I did wrong, stayed in Mississippi a day too long".

Best version of the song is the one on Tell Tale Signs, but for those of you who don't have the pleasure of owning the album there's a good live version on the old YouTube thingee, just search for Mississippi by Bob Dylan and there it is, as if by magic. What a thing is the interweb. And while you're there you should have a listen to Rab Noakes doing the song live at Celtic Connections in 2012. Quite marvellous. In fact you must listen to Rab, even if its only his guitar playing, but his voice is glorious, and Dylan's lyrics are perfect. Every line a wee gem. I too was once in Rosie's bed, but probably a different Rosie and can't remember one thing she said.

As I've maybe said once or twice before there are not many days that pass when I don't listen to some Dylan, and I reckon I'm going to need him even more over next few weeks.

When I was a boy and some one was diagnosed with cancer the word was never spoken, as if the very use of the word would bring death in it's wake. I don't think there was even a euphemistic word that was used. It was all down to looks and ways of speaking. A bit like Les Dawson and his pal playing the two old women talking about the naughty bits of life. Though more serious of course as cancer was like a death sentence in those far off days. Still is for some I guess.

By the time my father was diagnosed with cancer back in 1983 things had moved on somewhat and we could say the word, though it was still used as little as was deemed absolutely essential. He's been in my thoughts this week as I've had a diagnosis of bowel cancer myself. Which came as a bit of a shock to me. Though the thought crossed my mind over past few weeks, I felt sure the problem was down to my diabetes, but no such easy outs.

The doctor I saw was a nice young man called Dr Sami El-Muhtaseb; likes to be just Dr Sami. He was such a young guy I kept thinking should you not be at school young man? Anyway he spent a good twenty minutes messing about with his fingers, and a camera and probing about vigourously until he seemed quite happy, having called in a young nurse to assist for a few minutes, and then told me to get dressed. He told me that he had found a polyp on my colon, and I thought to myself, well done young man, so what does that mean? And why are you speaking euphemistically, this isn't the Isle of Lewis in the fifties?

He was looking at me in a kind of sad way, as if he wanted to tell me more but just couldn't bring himeself to do it. He seemed upset for me as if he didn't want to be the one giving me bad news. So I asked do you mean that I've got bowel cancer and he said yes you have cancer of the colon. I asked if he could be sure and he said yes I'm sure. We then chatted about what was to be done and what I can expect next. I will be having an MRI scan to check that the cancer isn't spread anywhere else, and a CT scan and then a meeting with the surgeon, who will operate and the oncologist, who will administer any therapy I require. I also need a colonoscopy. So lots of busy times coming up for me. I'm hoping that all this will be over and done with vey quickly but no dates so far. My main wish now is that the MRI scan is done and I get confirmation that it's only cancer of the colon. If so I will rejoice, and feel as if I've had a good result. They tell me cancer of the colon is very treatable. So three cheers for that and for the old NHS.

Dr Sami then introduced me to a Specialist Nurse called Rachel, who again talked me through what to expext and what support was available. I have to admit I had a tear in my eye, but recovered quite quickly. She's given me her card and I've to call anytime I feel the need to talk. She was what can only be described as lovely. I walked from the hospital back to Princes Street in a daze, a state of shock and disbelief. Everything is changed, different, new.

I'm still coming to terms with the new reality. Yesterday I had a suberb walk with my nephew Iain in The Hermitage of Braid, a beautiful woodland, river walk just a few minutes from my home. Thanks Iain for that, really enjoyed our walk, we must do it again soon. As Dennis Potter said "...but the nowness of everything is absolutely wondrous".

I will write some more about how this news has hit me tomorrow. I plan to make a full recovery and be in Peru by Xmas......