Blossom

I know there has been an extraordinarily long hiatus in my posts for which you will have to accept my humble apologies. My only excuse is that my feeble, stupid body has been letting me down again and again. The many operations on my bowel are still causing me immense problems even though it's nearly a year since the last one. I have many sleepless nights and hazardous days.

Consequently I am often  afflicted by a terrible tiredness which doesn't just affect me physically but leaves me mentally exhausted so that my brain seems not to function, or functions only very slowly, making everything in life a huge burden, so that sometimes I am hardly able to communicate at all never mind write blog posts,  and  opening emails and my Facebook and Twitter accounts are all I can manage, which is a shame as I've got this brand new MacBook Pro crying out to be put to use.

Some days are worse than others of course. My reading speed was never very fast but has got even slower, so that I'm often still reading The Observer on Wednesday. Mind you I have managed to finish this week's edition this morning, which is good. I am still reading my books but I doubt if I'm going to manage all the ones I've been planning on. There's a pile through there that I'm still hoping to complete before it's too late. I sometimes wonder if having the pile there where I can see them,  a constant reminder, is bad for me. But I can't get rid of them, so will keep telling myself I'm here for a few more years. Let's hope so anyway. Maybe I should stop buying books too. But there again maybe not. Someone will read them I'm sure, if I don't get round to them.

The most difficult part of life right now is the frustration of knowing that the cancer is almost certainly growing, slowly (hopefully), in my lungs but I'm unable to take full advantage of this time, before it all catches up with me, to do some travelling or anything much at all. I'm seeing various different doctors and nurses at the hospital to try to get me sorted but so far without much success. I'm back at the hospital tomorrow for another consultation and more advice and maybe some new ideas. I sure hope so anyway.

I want to go to Stornoway soon, maybe this month and I've eight days booked in London in July. I'm still holding out hope for Peru later this year, I will not decide until after my next scan in a few weeks time, and of course only if my other problem is resolved. I also plan on visits to Stoke, Cheltenham, Manchester, Lake District, Spain, Rome and Glasgow. I should be visiting some of these places as I write, at least that was my original plan for this year, bit I'm still hanging around Morningside. What a blessing that I live in Edinburgh, and Morningside with all its many wonderful  delights. Come and visit and I will show you.

As the late great Dennis Potter said as he approached the end : " I see it is the whitest, frothiest, blossomest, blossom that there ever could be, and I can see it."

Doesn't need explaining really and there's still plenty left for you to go and enjoy and be grateful. I am.