Independence

My good friend Angus Calder died six years ago. I can just imagine how he would have liked to be around now, getting involved in the independence debates and discussions taking place here in Scotland. He would of course, tomorrow, be voting for independence.

Angus was an author, poet, academic, historian and great company. He did like to spend time in various hostelries which I also frequented in the days of yore. Angus died aged 66, of lung cancer, same age as I am now and my father was when he died. Far too young to be going. He loved sport of all kinds, especially cricket and football. But no matter what the subject was you could benefit from an hour or two in his company to share in his his wisdom and knowledge of so many subjects. You can find details of his life, career and published work on Wikipedia and elsewhere on the internet.

I can highly recommend most of them but especially Revolving Culture, Scotlands of the Mind and The People's War. As I've not been able to attend any public meetings or rallies, health not permitting, I've been reading some of his work in lieu of involvement in any activities. I found the TV debates to be woefully lacking in inspiration on both sides.

In his introduction to Scotlands of the Mind in 2002 Angus wrote "Through the mists beyond our watershed, I hope that what I can glimpse might actually emerge - a nation without the disastrous paraphernalia of the nation-state. A nation empowered by acceptance of the realities of its past and ready to generate new Scotlands of the mind, and recreate itself as a land without prejudice."

In 1996 he wrote " I myself am not, I hope, swimming outside the current which is flowing to wherever it will flow, with whatever political, social and ethical consequences, over the year of the millennium, into an unimaginable future Scotland where Scottish identities, surviving, as I am sure they will, are constructed in ways which I cannot foresee, through language in its habitual state of flux and new songs transforming old ones......."

What a shame that he is not here to see a new song , hopefully, tomorrow. But I'm sure he is looking down on us, willing us on to make the right decision.

Angus says that one time in 1975 he was at a conference in Stirling University, when he saw Hugh MacDiarmid and Norman MacCaig sitting at a window seat in the refectory, so he went to join them, shyly. The Vietnam War was still in progress and the Vietcong were winning and the two of them were arguing about it with MacCaig trying to persuade, unsucessfully, MacDiarmid to give up his support for the guerillas. Angus describes it as some show. Wish I could have been there. I met MacCaig a few times and was lucky to spend time in his company, but thats a story or stories for another day.

Anyway enough of that sideshow. I think I've know all along how I would be voting tomorrow, but felt it was only right to give the matter plenty of thought and consideration. Especially so as my vote will be a vote for the future, and for future generations, even allowing for the fact that I intend to go on living for many years to come, this is still a vote for the younger generation. So it's even more important that I get it right for them.

Tomorrow I will be voting yes for an independent Scotland, with hope for a better future, knowing that it won't be easy, but in the end that its the right thing to do. For future generations but also for the people like my friend Angus who are no longer with us to participate.

I have to close now as I have a coffee date with my friend and teacher Marian, so musn't be late.

Like the man said vote early and vote often.

Onwards and Upwards

Apologies to those of you who have been checking my blog and looking for updates since my last post in July, I know there are a few of you as it's been viewed nearly a thousand times since then, but here I am rather belatedly but thankfully.

I started this blog in 2006 and didn't expect it to become an account of my cancer life, but I guess it's just as well. I still hope to go back to Peru and South America and write more about that wonderful place and it's people. However it seems to be retreating further into the distant future. I remember my surgeon, the exceptionally talented Mr Speake, telling me in June 2013, that he would have me ready to travel by November 2014. Not likely now, though I'm definitely hoping for some time in 2015.

Mr Speake successfully operated on me, for the third time in a year, on 24 July. After which I spent fifteen long days in hospital, until I eventually had to ask them to let me go as I seemed to have come to a dead end in my recovery, and in any case staying one more day would have meant two more days for various reasons which needn't dedain us here.

So I got home on 7 August and been recuperating ever since then and still visiting my nurse twice a week to change the dressing on my surgery wound, which is taking an awful long time to heal, as my body is so battered and bruised, it's struggling to get back to normal.

The five months of chemotherapy has left me with something called peripheral neuropathy in the soles of my feet, which means that the nerve ends have been affected and have decided to die on me. I've been to see a palliative care specialist who gave me some re assurance, in so far as being able to tell me that my feet were not about to drop off or are ever likely to need amputation, which was a great relief. My feet may or may not recover, but from what he said it looks as if I'm going to have to live with it, but the next six months will be decisive. And hopefully it won't get worse. He didn't seem to think it would.

Sometimes I get annoyed with my body for letting me down in so many ways, but then when I look back on life I have to be grateful it's carried me this far, through thick and thin so to speak. I have tested it's patience to the very limits of it's endurance, many times, so I have to accept this little diversion it's put in my way. We go onwards and upwards together. I reckon if I speak nicely about it things can only get better.

Thats all for now. Tomorrow I will tell you all how I intend to vote in the referendum, which I'm sure you've all heard about and had enough of by now. But let's face it, it is the most momentous day in Scottish history for many a long day, some say 300 years, though I'm not sure about that, but long enough to make us all think long and hard about our vote. So look out for my posting tomorrow.